In the beginning, it’s all easy. You meet someone you are attracted to, want
to spend all of your time with, and share all of your life dreams with. It’s easy.
You love this person with your whole being. You want to commit to making this person the
happiest and vice versa. You envision a
life of nothing but happiness because you vow to let nothing keep you from
that.
Then it gets hard.
Life gets hard. You create a
family. You share this oneness but at
the same time you see and feel differences.
Money starts getting tight. It’s
harder to put food on the table because there are so many demands that need to
be met and there never seems to be enough money at the end of the month. You start seeing each other with different
eyes because your “needs” are not being met.
Maybe you’ve grown a little fluffier around the waist or they’ve grown
the facial hair you never liked. It
becomes “easy” to see all that is wrong.
If you’re a mom, then spouses, children and work pull you in
several different directions. Whether
you are a homemaker or work outside the home, all of the pulls and strains are
the same in some way or another. You are
called to be “Supermom” at so many things and most of the time you’re probably
just trying to drink enough coffee to keep the house as normal as possible
without becoming insane yourself. And
your reward…you get to do it all again tomorrow with crying babies and
ungrateful teenagers.
If you’re a dad providing for your family, the stresses can
be unbearable sometimes. Whether or not
you are the sole bread winner or not, it may seem at times like you are on a
hamster wheel in a cage that you can’t off of.
It’s the same thing day in and day out and the only reward you get at
the end of the day is maybe a “sweet dreams” from the ones you do it all
for. No special medal here.
Then you have outside family. They can often be a great support but at
other times can be difficult to handle at times. You’re creating the life that you want – as
best you can – and that’s all you want to focus on. You don’t want to be told how to do it or
what you should be doing differently. There is a famous saying that says something
to the effect that no matter where you go or who you become family will always
be there. I only believe that to be partly
true. We don’t choose our family and
sometimes I bet most of us wish we could.
I also believe the saying about how families are full of nuts! Trust me….I’m one of those nuts in my family,
or the lone black sheep. Whatever you
call it – familial relationships are hard.
Then you have friends.
Friends are great things to have – in times of joy and sorrow. Friends can offer great support to you at different
times and you will come to realize that as you walk through life. You will have MANY friends throughout this
journey. They are the little pieces of
gold that you go digging for in hopes to find someday! They truly are a dime a dozen. You also have to realize that friends come
and go. And whether or not it is
something that was expected, it’s hurts.
So, there you have it.
It’s hard. There is no simple way
of putting it. That commitment that you
thought would be roses and daydreams…..maybe it’s thorns and nightmares now. Whatever it is today or will be next week, you
have to remind yourself that this is where you are supposed to be.
So how do you make life easier??
Know this – YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO HAVE ENOUGH MONEY! It’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s the truth. Think about it. You get a raise yet you don’t ever “feel” it
in your paychecks. Why? Because we always spend it before we even get
it. Can you be better with your
finances? SURE! And it’s a good goal to always have. BUT, the fact of the matter is that in today’s
broken society, it’s hard for everyone financially.
And what about that extended family? I can tell you with mine, I have to take them
all with a grain of salt. What does that
mean? A grain of salt is TINY! That’s the thought
you should give it. You will know in
your heart when you need to listen more or happily nod your head in agreement
to please them. It’s as simple as that.
And friends – choose them
wisely. They are the people we allow
into the quiet spaces of our lives and it’s very important that they are
striving for the same things you are. It
should never be a question of choosing between them or loved ones. It’s couldn’t be any truer that you have some
for a reason or a season.
When it’s hard, try to remember what your goal in life and your
marriage is. Maybe you and your spouse
have forgotten what that is. Then it’s
definitely time to sit down and reassess what it is and get back on track. It’s ok to veer off the beaten path
sometimes. We all do! There are some beautiful things you will
stumble upon when you take side roads.
BUT, it’s also the easiest way to get lost. Remember this life you are creating with your
mate and know that as some point in time, when the kids are grown and gone, you
will have to look across the room at this person and it’s better to call them
your best friend than a stranger. Too
often in today’s society it is the latter.
Remember the love and commitment that you promised on the day you
decided to spend your life together. If
you still have that…then you still have everything J
