Friday, May 21, 2010

Excitement and Apprehension?!

I am super xcited because my Aunt and two cousins are in town from Oregon and it seems like it's been forever since I have seen them.  I did have the opportunity to see my Aunt and one cousin a few years ago but one of the cousins that's coming (the only girl) visited when I was in high school!  The sad part is that I didn't see her then becuase I was away at cheerleading camp :(  I can't wait to reconnect with her.  The last time they lived in Kansas seems like decades ago.  I was just a little girl when they left and we have only been to Oregon one time since to visit them.  They will be coming to my house tomorrow night to hang out with me and my fam!! 

On Sunday my mother is having a small get-together with ALL of the family since they are on town.  That's all good but here is where my apprehension kicks in full gear.  My brother and his family (whom I'm not on speaking terms with) is going to be there as well.  This will be the first time I will have to be around my brother since this all started right before Christmas.  I didn't spend Christmas with them and have missed several birthdays because of it.  It really is sad but I have come to realize that sometimes I need to focus on what my family and I believe to be what's right for us and move on.  Sadly, I've also come to the realization that things will never be the same between any of us ever again.  I try my hardest to allow my children visits with their cousins but this will be the first time that I will be in the same room as my brother since everything went sour.  I'm not really looking forward to it at all but I am doing it for my mother.  She has asked me to be there so I will be.  I am just really hoping that my hubby doesn't have to work so that he can be there with me.  I need him for the support.  Did I tell you I am not looking forward to it....

I am praising the Lord for all the good but I also need his hand over me to take away any worries and apprehension that I have very strongly right now.  Let me get through this weekend and move on....

2 comments:

Melissa Miller said...

Have a wonderfully blessed weekend Beth! How fun! ~Melissa :)

kacy said...

Oh Beth I soo know how you feel! We are not speaking to Dustin's sister and we have to go to a graduation party this weekend that they will be at. It is also the first time that we will see them since our blow-up. I will pray for you and you pray for me!